A couple of years ago my sister and I started writing occasional features for the Irish Independent newspaper. Most of the pieces are just lighthearted looks about whatever is going on in our lives at the time. But it was one such piece that got her into trouble.
It was coming up to Valentine's Day and, if I remember correctly her article was titled 'Thinking of moving in with your boyfriend this Valentines? Well Think Again.' Or something along those lines. It went on to list the not so great points of moving in with your other half. For some strange reason her boyfriend took offence. I can't think why. The point is we both learned an early lesson in writing publicly about your personal life - don't publish anything unless the person you're writing about has sign off.
Aaanyway.....This week Disapproving Dad and I had an argument. Now I say argument but actually it was more like a John Wayne style stand off of epic proportions. For 3 days and 3 nights we kept our silence, both confident of our partners culpability, both quietly determined not to give in. Actually it was getting slightly comical - shuffling past each other to get to the sink, making our own individual dinners - whilst the tumbleweed continued to blow throughout the house.
It only came to an end when our friends who were due for dinner on Saturday night got wind of it and refused to come unless we were actually on speaking terms.
So, as the ice thawed and we gave each other a very public display of affection Disapproving Dad asked me 'So, are you planning to run off and blog about this now?'
'As if' I replied as haughtily as I could manage 'I would do such a thing'.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
School of Rock
Last week I started reading 'Heavier than Heaven', Kurt Cobain's most critically acclaimed biography. It's a good read, going through over 400 interviews, medical records and unpublished journals. As Julie Burchill comments on the back 'I was in hog heaven all the way through - in a caring, wistful way of course'.
Anyway, to give it full justice I've also been listening to Nirvana's albums - mostly in the car on school runs and the like. Fortunately the kids are too young to be demanding their own music just yet and so are getting a well rounded 'education' from the likes of Arctic Monkeys, White Stripes, Vampire Weekend, to Bowie, The Stones and all sorts in between.
It was on one of these trips that I had 'Bleach', Nirvana's first fairly raw album, playing a little too enthusiastically when I get stuck in a line of cars turning into the quiet school road. As Kurt's voice blared out above the mangled drums and guitar and the boys were busy headbanging in the back, one of the school mothers crossing the road stood absolutely still and stared at me with what I can only describe as a 'what on earth are you thinking?' face. Of course I pretended not to notice whilst discreetly turning it down a notch or five. It was only later when I'd switched the CD to 'Nevermind' that I wondered what she would have done if In Bloom had been playing; it's opening line being 'Sell the kids for food...'.
This isn't the first time I've wondered about what music I'm listening to whilst I've got 3 pairs of little ears flapping in the wind beside me. Obviously there are some artists you just know you can't get away with (Eminem this morning kids?), but what about the ones you really love that just happen to have a few rude words peppering their album? Most of the time I just put it on and hope the kids won't pick up on it. Like when the Libertines sing 'I Get Along' ('I get along singing my song, people tell me I'm wrong.....F**k 'em'). Bad mother? Maybe. But what if I tell you I sing very loudly and out of tune over the bad bits? La la la la la....
Wonder what school mum would have made of that.
It was on one of these trips that I had 'Bleach', Nirvana's first fairly raw album, playing a little too enthusiastically when I get stuck in a line of cars turning into the quiet school road. As Kurt's voice blared out above the mangled drums and guitar and the boys were busy headbanging in the back, one of the school mothers crossing the road stood absolutely still and stared at me with what I can only describe as a 'what on earth are you thinking?' face. Of course I pretended not to notice whilst discreetly turning it down a notch or five. It was only later when I'd switched the CD to 'Nevermind' that I wondered what she would have done if In Bloom had been playing; it's opening line being 'Sell the kids for food...'.
This isn't the first time I've wondered about what music I'm listening to whilst I've got 3 pairs of little ears flapping in the wind beside me. Obviously there are some artists you just know you can't get away with (Eminem this morning kids?), but what about the ones you really love that just happen to have a few rude words peppering their album? Most of the time I just put it on and hope the kids won't pick up on it. Like when the Libertines sing 'I Get Along' ('I get along singing my song, people tell me I'm wrong.....F**k 'em'). Bad mother? Maybe. But what if I tell you I sing very loudly and out of tune over the bad bits? La la la la la....
Wonder what school mum would have made of that.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
The votes have been counted, the results are in...
Yes I know there's supposed to be 2 more days left but I'm bored of waiting. Thanks to all who voted in my 'Which Logo Should I Use' Poll. The runaway winner with 80% of votes was the mothers picture above, which I'm delighted with, 'cause lets face it - I look hot! Please feel free to claim yourself as the other lady - there's no way I would wear a skirt that short.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Is it 'cause I is Irish?
Last Sunday morning as Disapproving Dad and I sat at the kitchen table nursing hangovers and two precious solpadine, I had a moment of reckless abandon.
'Shall we give up drink for the rest of September?' I asked.
Disapproving Dad looked at me, and with the seriousness that is normally reserved for a question more along the lines of 'So, are you ready to switch off your wife's life support machine?' nodded his head slowly.
And so began our 'dry run'.
To be honest the week that followed wasn't too testing. Whereas usually we would work our way through a couple of midweek reds we instead sipped peppermint tea and smiled smuggly at each other. Then Friday rolled around.
The first call came from my sister. 'Watcha doing tonight then? Shall I pop over with a bottle?' With immense dedication to the cause I explained that she was welcome to come over but that we weren't drinking for the rest of the month. There was a significant pause before she spoke.
'Eugh. See you in October' she said, clearly disgusted, before hanging up on me.
A little later the phone rang again.
'It's just not the same' Disapproving Dad whined before I even had a chance to say hello. Once again my steely resolve held. 'No, no, no, no, no. We are not drinking tonight'.
He too hung up.
So Friday night came and went, if somewhat dull and boringly. But at least we had stuck to our plan. We woke up on Saturday morning refreshed and headache free. What a revelation! This is how it was going to be in future. Well done us!
As the day drew to a close and another long dreary evening stretched ahead I asked Disapproving Dad how he wanted his steak that night.
'Drenched in booze' he replied without looking up.
'O God, me too' I said. There was a 5 second pause.
'Red or white?' he asked as he grabbed his keys and headed for the door.
'Shall we give up drink for the rest of September?' I asked.
Disapproving Dad looked at me, and with the seriousness that is normally reserved for a question more along the lines of 'So, are you ready to switch off your wife's life support machine?' nodded his head slowly.
And so began our 'dry run'.
To be honest the week that followed wasn't too testing. Whereas usually we would work our way through a couple of midweek reds we instead sipped peppermint tea and smiled smuggly at each other. Then Friday rolled around.
The first call came from my sister. 'Watcha doing tonight then? Shall I pop over with a bottle?' With immense dedication to the cause I explained that she was welcome to come over but that we weren't drinking for the rest of the month. There was a significant pause before she spoke.
'Eugh. See you in October' she said, clearly disgusted, before hanging up on me.
A little later the phone rang again.
'It's just not the same' Disapproving Dad whined before I even had a chance to say hello. Once again my steely resolve held. 'No, no, no, no, no. We are not drinking tonight'.
He too hung up.
So Friday night came and went, if somewhat dull and boringly. But at least we had stuck to our plan. We woke up on Saturday morning refreshed and headache free. What a revelation! This is how it was going to be in future. Well done us!
As the day drew to a close and another long dreary evening stretched ahead I asked Disapproving Dad how he wanted his steak that night.
'Drenched in booze' he replied without looking up.
'O God, me too' I said. There was a 5 second pause.
'Red or white?' he asked as he grabbed his keys and headed for the door.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
School Daze
My 6 year old daughter started in a new school this year. We've just moved back to my home town and thankfully she was accepted into our first choice school, which has been wonderful in welcoming us into the community. 'You're not going to regret this' I thought to myself when we first got the approval letter, 'we are going to be a model family. We will go to every AGM, join the parents committee, get involved with fundraising. Our daughter will be perfectly groomed and well behaved every day - this is going to be the best decision you ever made!'.
And now back to reality.
Kaya needs to take her inhaler to school and someone small has taken it from the shelf. Along with the spare one. After a half hour of searching I find half of it and stuff it in her bag. We're now late.
Is it time for a coffee yet?
So having dropped the 4 year old off to playschool (late) I finally sit down to my well earned cappuchino, and what the hell - lets have a cookie too. Mmm, cookies, I put a cookie in Kaya's lunchbox today, which is SITTING ON THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN.......NOOOOOOOO!!!!
And now back to reality.
Kaya needs to take her inhaler to school and someone small has taken it from the shelf. Along with the spare one. After a half hour of searching I find half of it and stuff it in her bag. We're now late.
I get all 3 kids strapped into the car, drive to the school, park as close as I can, get all 3 out, baby in buggy, run the rest of the way and finally get to her classroom, where I see 23 of her classmates in their tracksuits whilst she is dressed in her uniform (which now I see has a yogurt stain all down the front). Kaya looks at me like I've just put the cat in the microwave.
You see, poor girl has only had 3 PE days so far this year and I have forgotten her tracksuit on, em, 2 of those days. Not good mother statistics. So, once again I have to apologise to the teacher and promise to deliver her gear asap.
Just as I leave the school I remember the inhaler so I go back to explain to the teacher that Kaya might need it today, but you know, well it's kind of broken, but nevermind hey, it still works. Kind of.
As you can imagine I'm feeling pretty flustered by this time, but I race back home, collect her kit and fly back up the school with it. Sorry Reception, sorry Teacher, sorry Class, sorry Kaya, sorry, sorry, sorry.Is it time for a coffee yet?
So having dropped the 4 year old off to playschool (late) I finally sit down to my well earned cappuchino, and what the hell - lets have a cookie too. Mmm, cookies, I put a cookie in Kaya's lunchbox today, which is SITTING ON THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN.......NOOOOOOOO!!!!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
The Future is Grey
So, I woke up this morning pretty pleased with myself. I had finally pulled my finger out and done it. New ideas kept popping into my head and I was getting pretty excited about this blogging business. Then I looked in the mirror.
The horror! Three wiry white, (WHITE!) hairs were sticking up prominently at the top of my forehead. Not good.
Now there's no denying that I've been pulling out the odd grey hair for a year or so now, but they've been few and far between and certainly not visible the second I looked in the mirror. So that's it then. Time to start dying (in every sense of the word...). The problem is I'm just not very good at the high maintenance stuff, and to me this spells commitment. What I really wanted was to put it off as long as possible, but can I cope with people looking at my grey hairs while they're talking to me? It's not that I'm particularly vain, but, well, I'm only 37.... I'm just not ready to be old yet. Think I'll just have to sleep on it for now (the idea that is, not my grey hair).
In the meantime here are my Top 5 anti-aging foods (not that they've done me any good, sniff).
1. Red Wine. Yep, you read that right. A glass a day apparently - I'll let you decide on size yourself.
2. Dried Oregano. Surprising, but so easy to add to almost anything.
3. Turmeric. Ditto. Loads of spices have major antioxidant properties so get those curries ordered.
4. Berries. Strawberries, Blue berries, Black berries (in season now).
5. Dark Chocolate. I know!! So it's not all bad then - maybe I'm just not eating enough of it...
The horror! Three wiry white, (WHITE!) hairs were sticking up prominently at the top of my forehead. Not good.
Now there's no denying that I've been pulling out the odd grey hair for a year or so now, but they've been few and far between and certainly not visible the second I looked in the mirror. So that's it then. Time to start dying (in every sense of the word...). The problem is I'm just not very good at the high maintenance stuff, and to me this spells commitment. What I really wanted was to put it off as long as possible, but can I cope with people looking at my grey hairs while they're talking to me? It's not that I'm particularly vain, but, well, I'm only 37.... I'm just not ready to be old yet. Think I'll just have to sleep on it for now (the idea that is, not my grey hair).
In the meantime here are my Top 5 anti-aging foods (not that they've done me any good, sniff).
1. Red Wine. Yep, you read that right. A glass a day apparently - I'll let you decide on size yourself.
2. Dried Oregano. Surprising, but so easy to add to almost anything.
3. Turmeric. Ditto. Loads of spices have major antioxidant properties so get those curries ordered.
4. Berries. Strawberries, Blue berries, Black berries (in season now).
5. Dark Chocolate. I know!! So it's not all bad then - maybe I'm just not eating enough of it...
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Gotta Start Somewhere....
I've been promising myself for along time that I'd do this and tonight I finally ran out of excuses. Mr. G. is downstaris fixing his beloved Playstation (what is all that about?) and all three kids are, for once, sleeping soundly. So here I am - finally in the Big Bad World of Blogging.
Of course it's hard to know whether anyone will find it, let alone read it, but like so many mothers I know who have gone from Office Someone to Kitchen No One I just have to get the ol' brain cells ticking over and actually do something for myself. So the dinner dishes can wait where they are and the cat can stay out in the rain and the husband can get his own cup of tea and I will try my very best not to succumb to the comfy brown couch and the draw of the flickering TV screen...oh, hang on a minute though - isn't Jamie on tonight? Ok - tomorrow I promise....
Of course it's hard to know whether anyone will find it, let alone read it, but like so many mothers I know who have gone from Office Someone to Kitchen No One I just have to get the ol' brain cells ticking over and actually do something for myself. So the dinner dishes can wait where they are and the cat can stay out in the rain and the husband can get his own cup of tea and I will try my very best not to succumb to the comfy brown couch and the draw of the flickering TV screen...oh, hang on a minute though - isn't Jamie on tonight? Ok - tomorrow I promise....
