Queen of the empty threat.

That's me, just in case you were wondering.

From the second the 4 year old whinges in my ear at 6am to the moment the 8 year old moans that she doesn't want to go to bed yet - I dole them out like a pissed off referee hands out yellow cards. Or more pertinently - like a monarch hands out knighthoods (or the opposite of knighthoods perhaps...is there an opposite? Forget it, lets move on).

'Get downstairs or you'll get no treat in your lunch box.'

'Clear that up or you're not going to football.'

'Turn that off or Daisy can't come over on Friday.'

'Don't talk to me like that or no DS for a week'

'For a month in fact'

'And no TV'

'Stop it or you're on the naughty step.'

'Stop it or there will be no sweets on Saturday.'

'Stop it or you won't get anything for Christmas.'

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. STOP IT!

Of course they know the threats are empty so they don't listen. And the more they don't listen they wilder the threats become. And the wilder the threats become the less likely they are to be carried through.

Of course I've tried to hold firm. Rule over them with a iron fist. But in the end I always take the easy route out. After ten minutes of crying I let them 'earn back' their treat or more likely than not throw it at them aiming for the back of their head.

So it seems I have arsed up my already dubious parenting credentials. I am stuck in a cycle of empty threats and zero power. I need to regain my authority, sit proudly on the throne of parenting and become more than a Queen of empty threats.

Perhaps I should decree a beheading.

What do you think?

A dream delivery from Wine Isle

Sometimes this work is tough. Really tough. Sometimes I have to put aside my clean living for the good of others and write about.....wine.

Of course I couldn't write about it without tasting it first though - so Wine Isle sent me this:

Wine Isle Taster Pack

Want to see what's inside? Here we go!




The beauty of Wine Isle is that all of the wines are handpicked by experts in the business who have whittled down their portfolio of wines to 100 of the very best.

It's a fantastically designed site with some great novelty extras such as a 'Passport' that gets stamped each time you buy and to which you can add your comments and scores, and an interactive map that allows you to read all about the producers of each wine and lets you click through to their own websites.

There are wines ranging from £5.99 to £85.90 and you can buy just one bottle or multiple cases.

If you like your wines I can assure you could happily while away an evening or ten on there.

Over the next few days weeks I, along with my good friends, (of which there seem to be many at the moment...), will test all the wines supplied and give our verdict on each of them.

Some of the 12.

If you'd like to join in the fun take a trip over to Wine Isle and enjoy a 'virtual vacation to a beautiful Isle of 100 wines, handpicked by our resident wine experts from an already handpicked portfolio of 400. These are the best of the best - guaranteed to please the palate and the pocket.'

Tasting notes for each wine

Cheers!

Disclaimer: I was sent the Wine Isle mixed Taster Pack for the purposes of this review. All opinions and content are my own.

A moment for Multiple Mummy

Just like in real life there are people that you meet online that you take an instant liking to. For me one of those people was the gorgeous Kerry from Multiple Mummy. We swam in the same pool of bloggers for the past couple of years and she never failed to raise a smile.

I was lucky enough to meet her a couple of times and her sweetness and beauty were even more evident in person. 

Then, in July of this year, tragedy hit when out of the blue Kerry suffered a ruptured aneurysm which caused her to have a brain haemorrhage. 

The blogging community was shocked by the news but, not being part of her close friends and family, we were unable to do anything but stand by in silence. I know many of us have said our own private prayers for Kerry since then but as she lies in her hospital bed limited to a squeezing of the hand on a good day this doesn't really seem like enough.

Kerry's husband has been an amazing rock - looking after their three beautiful children and everything that entails when their world has been turned upside down. He writes beautifully on her blog keeping us all updated on developments. And amazingly he always seems to find something to smile about. 

Having felt helpless for so long Liska from New Mum Online decided to pull all of our support together into a day of healing for Kerry. So today, Saturday 24th November is Kerry's day. We will all be taking a moment out at 10pm to hope and pray and send positive energy her way. It's all that we can do and I really do hope that it helps lifts the spirits of her friends and family. 

If you never had the pleasure of meeting Kerry this little video she did for Netmums 'random acts of kindness' campaign pretty much sums her up in my eyes. Always thinking of others, always beautiful.

The perils of kids TV

I'm currently sitting on the sofa with a sick four year old who yesterday was almost admitted to A&E. We avoided it by the skin of our teeth and already, just 24 hours later, he is clearly on the mend.

Usually at this time he's in playschool so we don't get a chance to snuggle on the sofa watching morning telly. This has it's advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand I don't get the snuggles, on the other I don't have to listen to Dora the Explorer and her incessant questions.

I think the boy may be feeling the same. After being asked yet another so-obvious-it's-insulting query he shouted at the telly in exasperation 'IT'S THE YELLOW ONE YOU JESUS ASS POO!'

Quite.

So fortunately Dora has been banished from our screens forever for inciting my child to blasphemous bad language.

Now if I can just get the same reaction from Ben 10 we're onto a winner.

Unique and Chic Christmas Gifts (This is not a sponsored post!)

More than ever small independent sellers need the support of people like us. Often they are producing goods that are superior in both quality and design than those sold by the big corporate giants, but we either forget about them or don't find them in time until another Christmas has been and gone, and Tescos, Amazon and Argos are stuffing our hard earned pennies into their already well lined pockets.

So this year I thought I'd give a shout out to some gorgeous little online stores that you can actually take pleasure in shopping at this Christmas, and your family and friends will be thrilled with their unique gifts too.

I should add that if you are my own family and friends don't get too excited - not all of these gifts come under my generous £5 limit.

1. Rigby and Mac

I could happily choose one of absolutely everything featured on this site. It is all just gorgeous. Divided into three 'shops' it allows you to browse according to your taste - it's impossible not to love everything in all of them though. Just look at those Babushka Salt and Pepper shakers - ridiculously cute - what sister \ mother \ aunt \ friend wouldn't love to unwrap those this Christmas?

My only issue - and quite a large one if you're me - they don't ship to Ireland! *sob*

2. The Green Door Bookshop

A fabulous new online store with books that have been carefully picked with love. They say 'we like books that beg to be picked up. Books that look good, that are different, sometimes quirky. Books you could happily read yourself after the kids are asleep.' 

Sounds perfect. And you only have to take one look at their site to see that's it all true.


3. When I was a Kid

Great for little kids and little kids who have grown up. I defy you not to fall in love with something on this site. Having previously purchased from this site I can stand by it's 'Best Customer Service' award too. Beats browsing the Argos catalogue any day.

4. Regal Rose

I first found these guys a couple of years ago on Facebook and I still wear the rings I bought from them then. They were just a tiny operation back then and how much they have grown is a testament to how good they are. Take a look - you won't be disappointed. (You may have to pass the hint on to your other half though...)


That's just four of my favourites - I'm sure lots of you have others to suggest so feel free to add a link in the comments and share the love.

Now I'm off to write my own Christmas list - what do you think are the chances of me getting one of everything here?

No?

Really?


BTW -this is NOT  a sponsored post - just sites that I love. I will however be reviewing some books from The Green Door Bookshop soon - but only 'cause I love it. 

Saving the next Savita.

By now most of you will have heard the tragic story of Savita Halappanavar who died in an Irish hospital from septicaemia following a miscarraige which lasted almost three days. The medical staff refused to terminate the pregnancy as there was still a foetal heartbeat. It is reported that a member of staff told Savita's husband that 'this is a Catholic country' - although that has been denied by other parties.

If you haven't heard the details you might want to read this post by Lisa at Mama.ie - she sums up what I wanted to write pretty perfectly.


To my mind the issue is being taken in too many different directions by the media and subsequently by the many people around the world who are waking up to this story.  This is largely due to the term 'abortion' rather than 'medical termination' being used in the reports.

This issue is not about abortion.

The real issue here is actually very simple - Ireland needs to put in place proper legislation for cases in which the mother of an unborn child is at risk so that the medical profession can act with confidence and without fear of repercussion. 

In fact it beggers belief that this legislation hasn't already been put in place and I am in complete confusion as to why it hasn't.

This issue is not about Catholicism.

In my first year of college I studied Theology and part of the syllabus was the discussion of abortion in Ireland. We were taught that the Catholic Church only condoned the termination of a pregnancy if the mother's life was at risk.

So even if the doctors at that hospital had followed the Catholic route Savita could have been saved.

This issue it not about abortion. This issue is not about Catholicism. This issue is about getting our Government to pull their finger out and tackle an issue that they didn't want to touch with a barge pole because of the perceived negative implications it may have had for them.

But now as the story races around the world and women stand up in shock and outrage, and now that the UK and US media have picked up on it and the overwhelming cry of 'how could this happen?' is screamed into the ears of our politicians - somehow now I think they may find the time and inclination to take action.

Listography: Six Songs of Me

The Guardian has a great little feature as part of their Music section that's called Six Songs of Me.

It gives you 6 questions to answer all about music and then shows you everyone else's results. I thought I'd run a mini version here as a Listography (even though it breaks the golden self-imposed 'only 5' rule). Feel free to join in by listing yours in the comments, on Facebook or on your own blog and then linking up below.

Here we go.

1. What was the first song you ever bought?
Chris De Burgh Spanish Train. Let's move on shall we?

2. What song always gets you dancing?
In truth I'm usually too drunk to remember - it's the only time you'll get me on a dance floor. However I'm going to say Nirvana 'Smells like teen spirit' - and with good reason - I reckon if I can head bang to it in my wedding dress I can dance to it pretty much anywhere.



3. What song takes you back to your childhood?
Adam Ant - Prince Charming. My first crush before I even knew what a crush was.




4. What is your perfect love song?
I'm going to have to steal my other half's choice here - Nick Cave's 'Into my Arms' - hauntingly beautiful.




5. What song would you want at your funeral?
'If you don't know me by now'. Maybe.

6. Time for the encore. One last song that make you you.
Bob Marley 'Kaya'

There's always been Bob. From past boyfriends to distant travels, from meeting husband to in-labour music, from naming our kids to dancing with them in the kitchen. There's always been Bob.




The linky is now open, so get listing!

Polarn O. Pyret (POP) Clothing - A Review

You may not have heard of Polarn O. Pyret  - I know I hadn't before they got in touch with me, but I've a feeling they are going to be the next big thing in kids clothes around these parts. 

Polarn O. Pyret are a Swedish children's clothing brand (pronounced ‘Pole Arn Oh Pier Et’ in case you were wondering) with both shops and a growing webstore in the UK.

One look at their website and I fell in love with them. 

The ethos behind all their clothes is that children need clothes that they can play in - clothes that let them be children.

Having seen most high street stores offering clothes for under 7's that make children look like 'mini-me's' - I am thrilled to find somewhere that seems to understand what I want. 

Polarn O. Pyret sent me a winter coat for the 6 year old, a baggy t-shirt for the 8 year old and a little snood for the 4 year old. 

A new take on the snood!

Best Winter coat on the market!

We've had the clothes for over a month now and they have seen lots of wear and washing so I can confidently stand by their claim to make 'Clothes that can withstand wear and tear and are handed down from brother to sister'. In fact the 8 year old has partially claimed her little brothers coat as it's so warm and comfortable - so they now do handed up clothes too! 

The coat is certainly the best made coat any of my kids has ever owned. It has lots of little extras such as the built in hand warmers which they all just love, zip protectors, adjustable hem and cuffs to keep out rain and wind, inside pockets and a removable hood.

All the pieces offered are bright and colourful and Polarn O. Pyret believe in producing unisex items. As they say on their website 'We aim to make the world’s best jacket, knee sock, t-shirt and sun hat. Who wears what – and what colours – is up to you'.

I love that.
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The PO.P Winter Event is taking place 16th and 17th November.

There will be 20% off absolutely everything in store and online plus...

Light refreshments, activities for the littles ones and great prize draws and competitions in stores too!

Disclosure: I was sent the items pictured here to review. All words and opinions are my own.

Win a mystery gift worth up to £150 each week with Scotch

Every week between now and 3rd January the Scotch will be rewarding fans with the chance to win a beautifully wrapped, mystery gift.....worth up to £150! If you'd like to be the lucky one that gets to do the unwrapping, all you need to do is submit your guess/es as to what the mystery gifts are on the Scotch UK Facebook Page. 

To give you an extra helping hand I will be revealing an extra clue each week to help you win, so be sure to keep checking back if you want to be unwrapping an extra gift just for you this Christmas.

So here's your first clue for Week 1:

I'm the smallest member of my family (one billionth); fit in the palm of your hand and can hold tunes a plenty!

Know what it is? Well then race over to Scotch's Facebook page and submit your answer - and don't forget to come back next week for your next clue!

Good luck!

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post

More than just a mum meme

Have you ever been stuck in a queue in Tescos with a screaming toddler under one arm and bumper bag of loo roll under the other? You're sweating from the exertion of keeping both under control whilst under the watch of the general public's disdainful glare and you want to shout at them - 'Hey! I'm more than this! I used to run a marketing department \ train horses \ live in a kibbutz'.

Or perhaps you were pushing a buggy, up a steep hill, in the rain, in your tracksuit, with two other whinging kids being dragged along behind you when you bump into an immaculately dressed women in heels and full make up who is trying her best to dodge past you and your rabble with the least chance of actually touching any of you. 'Hey, back off lady!' you want to yell. 'I've been in your shoes you know. One day you'll remember me when you look in the mirror and see sick on your shoulder and hairs on your chin.'

The possibilities of these scenarios are limitless, and so, for everyone who has ever wanted to scream at someone 'I've travelled around Peru in a pick up!' or 'I used to earn a six figure salary!' or even 'I used to wear clean clothes!' this is for you.

I want you to post one picture on your blog of you being 'More that just Mum'. Then come back here and link it up for all to see.

Here's mine. Not just flying a plane - doing actual aerobatics - loop the loops and the like in Australia.

And just to prove I didn't crash it...

So now I want to see your pictures. I'm not actually going to tag anyone on this but at least one of you better join in with me or I'm throwing in the towel here.

C'mon - it'll be fun.

Plus I'm nosy.

And I know for a fact that at least one of you DID live in a Kibbutz.

A liar and a thief

There is a thief in the house.

Every morning before the rest of the household stirs the thief gently pads downstairs and silently searches the cupboards. There is only one thing on his mind. Treasure.

He rifles through each cupboard in turn, carefully replacing anything that becomes dislodged along the way.

He climbs on chairs to reach secret hiding places that we thought he would never discover.

He continues his hunt systematically until he finds his prize - the school biscuits.

He then goes into the sitting room to watch our television and gorge himself on countless Penguin bars and Mini Oreos until he has had his fill.

As the sun rises and the wrappers are hidden in the bottom of the bin or perhaps behind the sofa, the thief dissolves as if never there and when we arrive around the door all that we see is our darling blond haired boy.

Who? Me?

The problem is we never actually catch the thief red handed and trying to extract information from the main suspect is impossible.

Solemn promises of  'I swear I didn't do it. I promise. It wasn't me' are followed with tears and cries of  'But I didn't doooooo it!'

So convincing is the suspect that we begin to doubt ourselves.

Today however he slipped up.

As I opened the door of the kitchen I was greeted with a large pool of dark red liquid, smeared across the kitchen floor like a scene from a gruesome horror movie.

The kitchen cupboard lay slightly ajar with a terrified bottle of Ribena peeping out at the murder scene.

'GET IN HERE NOW!' I shout and three shocked faces appear at my elbow.

*Gasp* 'Who did that?' asks the girl.

'Yes. WHO. DID. THAT.' I echo looking furiously at Suspect 1 and 2.

'I swear I didn't do it. I promise. It wasn't me' shoots back Suspect 1.

'Well he doesn't even like Ribena' I say nodding at the boy previously known as Suspect 2.

'But I didn't doooooo it!'

This time I have him cornered though. The three hours of denials won't be necessary today.

'Go and look in the mirror and then come back to me and answer the question again' I say.

He walks up to the bathroom mirror and stands there for a moment before conceding.

'OK. It was me'.